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Calls to 0845 Numbers are charged at local rate from landline. Other networks vary. You will hear recorded information and receive date matches by SMS text: You must have a mobile phone to use this service: Customer service 08700464640. This is a text chat service. Date messages are never charged only text chat messages are charged at £1.50. You will be told and asked to confirm before being charged. T&Cs 5minutedate.co.uk

We live at a time when forming sexual relationships is getting more and more complicated. We’re bombarded with information and statistics glamorizing dating and making it look so easy. TV shows such as “Sex and the City,” ‘The Bachelor” and many other “hook up” shows are all filled with images of pseudo-witty, independent and sexually “liberated” wannabes all wrapped up in Gucci, sipping pink cocktails and exploring Kama Sutra with a non-stop string of well to do suitors. But for many of us it’s not happening that way in real life.

Not only is dating frustrating, it appears we are quickly forgetting how to connect with the opposite sex in a meaningful, fulfilling and lasting way. We’re playing the Dating Game but no one seems to know what to do anymore.

Just the other day, a client described to me how she found herself arguing with a guy she really liked over who should pay for the meal. The ridiculous situation came up because of all the confusion over who pays for what and when it is a date. Often a man or woman will ask someone of the opposite sex out for coffee or to the movies thinking they are just hanging out. Then he or she offers to pay and the whole outing becomes “confusing” because the person begins wondering if it’s a “trick date”.

Why does something as natural as finding someone to be with have to be such a struggle?

Both men and women I have talked to tell me they think that the feminist revolution which ushered in so many great achievements and remarkable progress in gender equality also brought along confusion between the sexes leaving many vulnerable and confused. We seem to know our gender rights and boundaries in all areas except when it comes to sexual relationships. Here the boundaries become fuzzy and even keep shifting depending on the circumstances. I agree that there is so much confusion as to who does what, to who, for how long and when, I also think that there is an additional dynamic driving today’s dating game.

In the old days, men and women spent time getting to know each other often becoming good friends before the relationship became romantic and/or sexual. During a date, the man consciously tries to make a woman happy, doing everything he does to gain her attention and affection. The woman on the other hand encourages him with admiration, respect, and appreciation for even the smallest things he does for her. But these days it sort of works backwards. It starts out with mostly romantic dinners, romantic emails, expensive gifts and sex and then it builds into a friendship - that is if a couple even ever gets to the friendship level.

Author: Christine Akiteng

“Prom…a night of magic and romance…for your genitalia,” says Kyle, 16, of Gainesville, FL. What Kyle says may be true, but the talk about having sex on prom night leaves some teens feeling stressed or pressured.

Everybody’s Doing It? 

Laura Rupp, R.N., an educator with the Chart Teen Task Force, in Hannibal, MO , says both guys and girls feel a lot of pressure to have sex on prom night because it seems like a “tradition.”

“They see it as…something that everyone does,” she explains. “Boys feel more pressure from their peer groups about having sex than from their partner. Girls feel more pressure from their partner. It could very well be a tie on who is more pressured, though.”

Some teens reject that pressure.

“I don’t plan on having sex on prom night,” says Anita. “It’s cliché. I’m waiting until marriage to lose my virginity.”

All about Choices

No matter how you feel about sex, it is really important to plan beforehand how you want your prom night to go. This means choosing a date you’re comfortable with and deciding what you will—and won’t—do afterward.

“Choose a date who has similar feelings as you do,” Rupp says. “Dating someone who is experienced and wants to have sex when you don’t will probably cause conflict. If your date truly cares about you, sex should never be an issue. And don’t forget: no means no. Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed to voice your feelings.”

If you choose to go to the prom with someone you are in a relationship with, communication is important.

“For those who are in a relationship, communication is the key to everything, including talking about your feelings regarding sex,” Rupp explains. “If you are too embarrassed to talk to your partner about sex, then you are nowhere near ready to be having sex.”

If you and your date decide you want to have sex, then you must discuss what kind of contraception you’ll use and who will buy it. Both partners should also be tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) before you have sex. And you should always use a Birth+Control&content_id=706″>condom to protect against STDs, even if you are using another method of birth control.

If you’re not in a serious relationship and feel unprepared for sex, then consider going to the prom with a good friend.

“Who says your prom date has to be someone you love or are dating?” says Rupp.

“Going to prom with a good friend should relieve those prom pressures and ensure a night of fun with no hidden agenda.”

Even if your prom date is just a friend, you should still discuss your limits for the night, including sex, drugs, and alcohol.

While planning can help you avoid sticky situations, you may still find yourself facing choices. Say you end up at a party with drugs and alcohol and you start to feel uncomfortable. Tell your date so you can find something else to do. If your date doesn’t get it, then leave.

“All actions have consequences,” says Rupp. “If you don’t feel a situation is right, follow your gut instinct and get out of there.”

She adds that drinking and drugs “impair your judgment and make you feel invincible, which can lead to bigger problems.” So, be safe. Avoid alcohol and drugs. If you do drink, do it responsibly. Have one or two, spaced throughout the night. Before prom night, ask a friend who won’t be drinking to keep an eye on you and give you a ride home, if you need it. Never drink and drive.

Prom should be a magical night, but you have to decide what magic means for you. So be safe, be smart, be savvy, and have fun!